I had a job interview today. The person interviewing me asked what I felt my greatest weakness was, so I looked her dead in the eye and said “spiders”. 

You’d think all of the people on Facebook who claim to “fucking love science” would spend less time taking stupid IQ tests.

I’ve been writing for 2 years now and I still consider this one of the finest jokes I’ve ever written. 

I currently write for a site where I pick which article I want to write from a predetermined list. I always pick to write articles about birds just because I like referring to ornithologists as “bird nerds”.

 

I never let my Pokemon learn the move screech because once they learn how to scream I’m screwed.

The only thing I’ve learned from the #GamerGate hashtag currently trending on Twitter right now is that my reservations about telling people how much I like games are pretty much justified.

I don’t think people give the realism in the Pokemon games enough credit. For example, two of my Pokemon didn’t like each other but they still had a baby together.

Next time I see a dog with one of those cone things on its head I’m going to stick a biscuit to the wall just to see what happens.

Earlier today I got an email off of one of my editors thanking me for sending him a perfectly formatted invoice because it meant he could process my payment in five minutes instead of half and hour.

I of course sent an email back saying thank you for the compliment. Because it really is a rare occurrence to be complimented on doing something everyone else normally does in half an hour in five minutes.

Actual conversation I had yesterday with a cashier.
Her: Hey, do you have any ID.
Me: Erm, sure, here you go. 
Her: *smirking, nice last name. 
Me: Errrr, thanks, I erm, got it for my birthday.