I keep turning on detective mode during fight scenes in Batman: Arkham Asylum just so it looks like Batman is being attacked by a bunch of pissed off skeletons.

One of yesterday’s whiteboard goal was to climb inside of my quilt and sleep curled up like a giant squirrel. Today’s whiteboard goal is to drink an entire bottle of peach schnapps. Because I’m a complicated person.

Whiteboard goal update: I put shampoo on my right eyebrow and conditioner on my left. So far neither eyebrow is noticeably softer than the other, I’m going to continue stroking them intermittently to make sure. 

My whiteboard goal for today is to use conditioner on one of my eyebrows and shampoo on the other and measure whether there is a noticeable difference in softness. For science.

Fun fact: During the 1930’s radio announcers for the BBC were so popular with the public, if they were heard coughing on air, concerned fans would send them cough lozenges and warm sweaters. 

They also had to wear dinner jackets whenever they read the news, just because. 

You know what, sometimes I fucking love my country. 


I will buy the shit out of the first product to make a YouTube advert that’s six seconds long that chides you for not pressing skip in time.

The British reasoned that the dock was so well defended that the German’s would never expect a suicidal direct assault, so that’s exactly what they fucking did. Before the mission began, an old piece-of-shit destroyer that formally belonged to the US Navy, HMS Campbeltown, was lightened and then filled it to the brim with explosives. Once Campbeltown had been modified, the British literally sailed in a straight line until they reached the dock’s front gate and then crashed right into it.

We weren't kidding.

We weren’t kidding.

Campbeltown was flanked on this mission by a number of smaller boats carrying Commandos, who began to attack the dock like it owed them money as soon the boat became grounded. During the ensuing fight, 169 of the 622 men who took part in the mission were killed while a further 205 men were captured, amongst them was then Lieutenant-Commander Stephen Beattie. After Campbeltown crashed into the dock, Beattie, who had been commanding the ship was captured and dragged off to be interrogated.

During his interrogation, Beattie was confronted by an incredulous English-speaking German officer who couldn’t believe the British had sent such a tiny boat to destroy such a large, well-defended dock. The legend goes, that just as the German officer finished laughing about how the dock could never be destroyed by such a ill-equipped ragtag group of assholes, the Campbeltown exploded, instantly destroying the dock. Because suck on that, random German officer.

I wrote a thing about a group of men who destroyed the most heavily defended dock under German control in WW2 by crashing the fuck into it. 

It was fun to research and write and I hope people like it.

I posted about GamerGate on Twitter earlier which went about as well as you’d expect. This is the most notable thing to come out of it. 

The term “social justice warrior” is like flypaper for shitheads because only shitheads seem to be attracted to using it in conversation.

My housemate started this thing in our house where every day we write down three things we want to accomplish on a big-ass white board in the living room.

So far this week I’ve cooked an entire meal using only my left hand, held a clock aloft while saying “I am Chronos God of Time” and showered while listening to rainforest noises like a lady in a fancy shampoo commercial.

It’s been a good week.